It can be quite shocking discovering your spouse (i.e. husband or wife) has taken up with another person in the bedroom (i.e. having adultery or infidelity with another man or woman), what is even worse is if your spouse does not seem to be truly sorry once they have been caught.
After discovering adultery, learning to forgive and move on is the only way you will be able to live your life to the fullest. You do not want to be punishing your significant other (i.e. your spouse) for the infidelity committed by this one. Relationships can be quite tricky, and no matter how close you become with your spouse it can still surprise you with their reactions.
When adultery has come into the mix of your marriage, it can be quite difficult to find your footing. You automatically want to push your spouse away or ignore the fact that it happened. It is important to face your feelings and sort through them in order to get past the issue, and begin to move on whether it is with your current spouse or a new one.
Acknowledgement from both parties (i.e. you and your cheating spouse) is the first step. You need to acknowledge the fact that you are upset and pinpoint the reasons why. Some people are much more hurt about the broken trust versus the actual affair. It is an act that has broken up your home, and it needs to be fixed.
Your spouse needs to acknowledge the fact for why they had the affair outside of marriage in the first place. If the marriage was not working out for either party, a little communication would have helped discover this long before the infidelity came about. Do not just be made to be made, putting the issues on the table will help both parties move on with their lives.
Ignoring the fact that there is a relationship problem in your marriage is the worst solution for everyone. It will still hurt, you will be just left to suffer with yourself, and that is not healthy. Your spouse has been avoiding dealing with other issues and that is what leads to the discreet affair in the first place. Ignoring that there is a marriage problem will just lead to both parties being stuck together and extremely unhappy.
Your spouse maybe extremely regretful when it comes to his / her adulterous actions, and he / she may be willing to do anything that they can to make it up to you. No one is saying you cannot choose to stay with your current spouse. If you choose to stay, it is still very important that you work through your marriage issues that lead to your unfaithful spouse having the adultery in the first place.
When a couple has been in a marriage for a long period of time it can be extremely easy to take advantage of the fact that they will always be there. Some people are just not truly happy with what they have until it is gone. The easy way out (e.g. getting a divorce) is always appealing, and it can be quite a fight to avoid temptation.
In short, it is important to note the reasons why your marriage has turned into turmoil by adultery, and begin to rebuild from there. Also learn to forgive your cheating spouse if he/she is willing to make it up to you.